The Bangcock Motorcycle Gang, besides deliberately misspelling their name, is literally the world's worst band. Leaving aside the retarded sexuality of their lyrics and the dustbin-worthy riffs that disgrace the very spirit of music itself, BMG doesn't even have good looks or great riches to excuse their deep irrelevance and total lack of taste.
If there is only one thing that even the notoriously unreliable BMG can guarantee, it is that listening to their music will make you measurably stupider and far less likely to be approached sexually, except perhaps by a starving animal.
Band Members:
Thorax Abdomen (Bass Guitar, Osama’s Beard): At first only able to fret the bottom string, he has since blossomed into the world’s best time-traveling bass player (winner of the 1808, 2009, 2014, and 2023 Bass Player Magazine reader’s poll) thanks to the occult power of his instrument, the mirror black, demonically possessed Osama’s Beard. He and Oakenshlong write the vast majority of the music for BMG songs, usually developing riffs and song structure immediately before recording. He has experimented with a wide variety of styles, genders, and Earth’s species, being the driving force behind both reggae songs (“P. ‘Scratch’ Larry and “The Stone Spheres of Costa Rica”) and the riff for “The DPRK”. His songwriting style is often stream-of-consciousness, expressing single ideas through lists and repetition (“Baguazhang”, “Dog Shit”, “Dong Bong”), though some songs feature stories and characters (“Hanging Brain”, “P. ‘Scratch’ Larry”, “Red Rocket”). He likes the colour red, and prefers mayo on his fries. His regular online feature is Thorax Thoughts.
Doppelganger Joe (Lead Vocals): His vocal style ranges from outright screaming to Danzig-like crooning, and occasional death-metal growls. His contribution to the musical element of songwriting is usually limited to his improvising the vocal melody during the first take of recording a song, though he did develop the riffs for the one note classic “Dog Shit” and “Jesus Is Right Behind You”. He is a prolific lyricist and cunning linguist, however, and his songwriting is often directed at more ‘serious’ topics (“The Environment”, “Stab The Government”, “The DPRK” ), especially Christianity (“Anglo-Jesus”, “What If The Catholics Are Right?”, “Jesus Is Right Behind You”).Doppleganger Joe is also the fashion-plate of the band, famous for his barechested, bondage themed, kilt wearing antics on stage. Doppelganger Joe’s regular online feature is Joe’s Explainings.
Sadly, after his recent fatal penile overdose, Joe has been replaced by Jesus in the band, who is very excited to be moving up to the big leagues.
Sinep Littlehead (Drums): The only member of the BMG to have logged any hours of experience whatsoever with his instrument prior to joining the band. He is instrumental in determining the tempo, pacing, cooking time, and, often, structure of songs. His songwriting is considered deeply personal (“Things Your Mother Told You“), often food-related (“I Like Toast”, “We Like Cheese”, “Fig Plucker”) or Satanic (“Evil Elvis”, “Zombie Jesus” a lyrical collaboration with Oakenschlong). He is also known for his mysterious and deeply sexualized persona onstage. As a bona fide Kung Fu Master, Sinep will literally “Punch You in the Asshole”.
Gonk Oakenshlong (Guitar, Background Vocals): Also the executive producer for all BMG albums so far, he is a prolific songwriter and instrumental to developing the unique sound of the band. As a guitarist, he uses power chords almost exclusively, reserving the top string for his distinctive, random and mildly psychotic solos; he is also known for his love of the “wah-wah” and East Bay Ray-like echo effects. His questionable riffs draw deeply from the rich punk and metal traditions that his youth was fermented in. A master of the double, triple and reverse entendre, he deals almost exclusively in sexual content cleverly coupled with deeper themes (“Thundercock”, “Butterface”, “Hobosexual”), very often involving Eastern religion and philosophy (“Yoga Stroker”, “Ass-Ram At The Ashram”, “Farting in the Tub”), contributing to the general image and style of the BMG. Gonk Oakenshlong’s regular online feature is Ask Gonk.
If there is only one thing that even the notoriously unreliable BMG can guarantee, it is that listening to their music will make you measurably stupider and far less likely to be approached sexually, except perhaps by a starving animal.
Band Members:
Thorax Abdomen (Bass Guitar, Osama’s Beard): At first only able to fret the bottom string, he has since blossomed into the world’s best time-traveling bass player (winner of the 1808, 2009, 2014, and 2023 Bass Player Magazine reader’s poll) thanks to the occult power of his instrument, the mirror black, demonically possessed Osama’s Beard. He and Oakenshlong write the vast majority of the music for BMG songs, usually developing riffs and song structure immediately before recording. He has experimented with a wide variety of styles, genders, and Earth’s species, being the driving force behind both reggae songs (“P. ‘Scratch’ Larry and “The Stone Spheres of Costa Rica”) and the riff for “The DPRK”. His songwriting style is often stream-of-consciousness, expressing single ideas through lists and repetition (“Baguazhang”, “Dog Shit”, “Dong Bong”), though some songs feature stories and characters (“Hanging Brain”, “P. ‘Scratch’ Larry”, “Red Rocket”). He likes the colour red, and prefers mayo on his fries. His regular online feature is Thorax Thoughts.
Doppelganger Joe (Lead Vocals): His vocal style ranges from outright screaming to Danzig-like crooning, and occasional death-metal growls. His contribution to the musical element of songwriting is usually limited to his improvising the vocal melody during the first take of recording a song, though he did develop the riffs for the one note classic “Dog Shit” and “Jesus Is Right Behind You”. He is a prolific lyricist and cunning linguist, however, and his songwriting is often directed at more ‘serious’ topics (“The Environment”, “Stab The Government”, “The DPRK” ), especially Christianity (“Anglo-Jesus”, “What If The Catholics Are Right?”, “Jesus Is Right Behind You”).Doppleganger Joe is also the fashion-plate of the band, famous for his barechested, bondage themed, kilt wearing antics on stage. Doppelganger Joe’s regular online feature is Joe’s Explainings.
Sadly, after his recent fatal penile overdose, Joe has been replaced by Jesus in the band, who is very excited to be moving up to the big leagues.
Sinep Littlehead (Drums): The only member of the BMG to have logged any hours of experience whatsoever with his instrument prior to joining the band. He is instrumental in determining the tempo, pacing, cooking time, and, often, structure of songs. His songwriting is considered deeply personal (“Things Your Mother Told You“), often food-related (“I Like Toast”, “We Like Cheese”, “Fig Plucker”) or Satanic (“Evil Elvis”, “Zombie Jesus” a lyrical collaboration with Oakenschlong). He is also known for his mysterious and deeply sexualized persona onstage. As a bona fide Kung Fu Master, Sinep will literally “Punch You in the Asshole”.
Gonk Oakenshlong (Guitar, Background Vocals): Also the executive producer for all BMG albums so far, he is a prolific songwriter and instrumental to developing the unique sound of the band. As a guitarist, he uses power chords almost exclusively, reserving the top string for his distinctive, random and mildly psychotic solos; he is also known for his love of the “wah-wah” and East Bay Ray-like echo effects. His questionable riffs draw deeply from the rich punk and metal traditions that his youth was fermented in. A master of the double, triple and reverse entendre, he deals almost exclusively in sexual content cleverly coupled with deeper themes (“Thundercock”, “Butterface”, “Hobosexual”), very often involving Eastern religion and philosophy (“Yoga Stroker”, “Ass-Ram At The Ashram”, “Farting in the Tub”), contributing to the general image and style of the BMG. Gonk Oakenshlong’s regular online feature is Ask Gonk.